Jocelyn Leckie, author of Choosing to Cross the Line


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Choosing to Cross the Line - Jocelyn Leckie

To read 'Choosing to Cross the Line' Book Review Click Here

 


Author of the Book
'Choosing to Cross the Line'

Excerpts from the Book Click Here

To read 'Choosing to Cross the Line' Book Review Click Here

Readers' Comments

The world has never yet seen a truly great and virtuous nation because,
in the degradation of women, the very fountains of life are poisoned at
their source
. ... Lucretia Mott

'Choosing to Cross the Line' is Jocelyn's story of finally leaving her
29 year marriage to escape domestic violence - emotional and verbal
abuse. It was not an easy journey for Jocelyn, but the huge learning
on the way resulted in an understanding and appreciation of her
inner strength, courage, and sense of adventure.

Jocelyn is now in a place of freedom to chart and navigate her second
half century with 21st century style.

She has written her story to positively impact the lives of others to help them discover who they really are, and to enjoy the life and relationships they deserve.

With the skill of the story teller Jocelyn creates a rich tapestry of captivating word pictures as she leads you through insights and treasures of the autobiographical account of her journey in, out and beyond domestic violence, in her first book ‘Choosing to cross the line’.

She initially wrote as a catharsis to cleanse her soul of the pain, grief and trauma, yet as she wrote she realized she had an important message for others:

To dare to dream big, bold and beautiful dreams and to not settle for mediocrity
but to live in fullness and freedom in pursuit of their own glorious quest.


Excerpts from 'Choosing to Cross the Line' (c) Jocelyn Leckie 2009

Page 3 - 4:

'I was getting more and more frustrated and angry by the millisecond. The argument was so familiar - my husband emphasising his point of view over and over again – not hearing me. I felt like I was going to explode with frustration and anger, and I desperately needed some space for me to process the situation.

I quietly excused myself from the living area, closed both the bedroom and bathroom doors behind me and found myself in the ensuite bathroom.

A volcano of frustration and anger exploded from deep within my being as I slammed my clenched fists into the vanity unit bench. The physical pain helped relieve and express the oceans of emotional pain and torment I had endured. The pain in my hands was a comfort, a solace, a relief which I hugged to my soul.

The bathroom door was thrust open. My husband burst through, his being emanating angry violence towards me, but he did not hit me. He stood millimeters from my face, his fists clenched, his voice raised, taunting me repeatedly, ‘Here if you want to hit something hit my face ’.

As I stepped back from him I screamed, ‘Get away. Get away. Get away from me’.

This incident, one of many, launched me into my personal quest to freedom and wholeness, to escape domestic violence - emotional and verbal abuse - culminating in me standing before His Honour in the Brisbane Magistrates Court subject to his decision on the division of assets of the marriage.

Page 35 - 36:
Unfortunately I was never given the opportunity to deliver my plea personally to the judge which I had prepared as follows:

Your Honour, I respectfully request permission to speak.

As a little girl it was my life purpose and dream to get married, create a home and have children. At the age of twenty one I married and had two beautiful sons. Even in the early days there were cracks in the relationship, but I had made it my life’s quest, my passion and my driving force, to make my marriage work. I began my marriage as a newly qualified registered nurse, and soon became the charge nurse or sister of the emergency department in Dunedin Hospital. Yet behind the professional persona was a hurt little girl in a woman’s body; a girl who lacked confidence and poise as a result of dysfunction in her early life and her marriage.

There is a perception that, because I had lived with my husband for close to thirty years, I was happy with the situation, but that is not fact. Your Honour one does not wake up one day and decide that your twenty-nine year marriage is over, but rather there is a growing awareness of the chasm that you are unable to bridge. There was a dawning of understanding that I was no more than a mere slave in the relationship and that I had negated my power.

Separation and divorce have been the vehicles to enable me to take back my power. However, I was forced into a position of vacating my home, leaving behind all my familiar surroundings. I had to leave behind a huge home with swimming pool set on an acre of land and all my possessions, along with the beautiful garden I was establishing. It was especially difficult for me to leave my faithful companion and friend Gracie, my 11 month old vibrant foxie puppy.

Now my accommodation, by way of contrast, is a tiny one bedroom flat under the brow of a hill accessed by a steep set of stairs.

Your Honour, I really want to achieve property settlement today. It is most unfortunate to find myself at the mercy of the legal system in an endeavour to extricate myself from this nightmare. I have explored all possible avenues but to little avail.

At all times I have made myself available to negotiate a reasonable settlement. My husband thwarted this process by forcing my attendance at unnecessary court appearances. His first offer was that he keeps all the assets, including the family home, and that I pay him $30,000. His last offer was the same as the first, with the exception that he would forgo the cash payment. It is my opinion that his unreasonable offers were to punish me.

Your Honour, the pervading sense of powerlessness I have encountered with the legal system is the most dishonouring and frustrating aspect of my earnest endeavour to achieve a fair and just property settlement.

Perhaps naively, I thought that the legal system of our land would provide mercy and justice for a woman who, because of domestic violence, is forced to leave her home.

On both accounts I believe the legal system failed me.

(c) Jocelyn Leckie 2009